Do Not Pass Go, Go Directly To This Link

Jess at Making Home is posting on women friendships. As her posts usually are, this one is excellent. So, my post today is to refer you to this post. Click on the links in order to learn more about Jess and then to read part one, followed by part two in her series on Friendships of Women.


Have a great day!

Memorial Day

Back to my series on traditions and holidays…

Memorial Day is a holiday in which we are still establishing traditions for. For this holiday we will likely do as we did this year, fill our time with yard work and chores or maybe go camping some year. But we also want to set aside some time to be purposeful in remembering what this day is for.

So far we have one tradition, and this is only the second year we have done it=). You have to start somewhere. We watch the movie The League of Grateful Sons. It is a simple way to take some time to remember that we are all free to enjoy this holiday because people have served faithfully, some giving up their lives for our freedom.

I also found some web sites that contain history about Memorial day as well as some coloring pages and activities for kids. I am thinking that I want to take Memorial Day through July 4th and focus on some American history and activities with my kids. For C this is a great way to learn more history. For A and B this helps them to understand both Memorial Day and July 4th and to appreciate the history behind those days.

Chocolate 101

This week I had the opportunity to take a one time class about chocolate. The class included various chocolate trivia as well as some delicious chocolate foods.

Some Trivia:
The Maya were the first, or some of the first, to drink chocolate, in fact solid chocolate is a more recent way to partake of cacoa.

Cadbury made the first box of Valentine chocolates.

The majority of cocoa comes from Africa, much of it is harvested through child and slave labor. This is another reminder to look for that “free trade” mark on packages, although with chocolate it is not always possible find that at this point.

Cacoa contains antibacterial agents to fight tooth decay, but the sugar typically added, nullifies this effect. See this link for all sorts of good news about chocolate.

Phenyl ethylamine is a mild mood elevator.

Cacoa pods are rather large and strange looking.

Some Recipes:
The teachers of the class demonstrated how to make chocolate lava cakes, similar to this one. They were impressive to look at and rather easy to make. Can't wait to make my own!

We made coconut cream eggs, similar to this recipe. One thing that I love about these is that they can be made ahead of time and stored in the freezer. They can be made into a round ball, as opposed to an egg, which is more for Easter, and stored for times when a little thank you gift is needed.

We then dipped store bought cookies, in chocolate, so that they were partially chocolate covered. I think this would be a fun thing to do with the kids. It could even be done with home-made sugar or chocolate chip or peanut butter or really any cookie one's heart may desire.

Reflection on Psalm 127:4

Psalm 127:4 “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” A warrior shoots out an arrow in order for it to accomplish a task that is out of reach of the warrior. The arrow is an extension of the warrior, reaching farther than the warrior could himself reach.

Last week my mom had knee surgery. She is recovering well, but is limited in her ability to do things. This week when my dad went back to work, C went and helped my mom. She walked there by herself, with me calling my mom saying, "she is on her way." And my mom calling and saying, "she is here." C was basically my mom's arms and legs, making meals, walking into town to run errands, doing laundry and that sort of thing. I was so blessed to have a daughter that I could send and this verse came to mind. C was like an arrow that I was able to send to do a job that I was not able to do myself.

Psalm 127
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives his beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Braces!

Today was the day! C has her braces on, on the top anyway. The lower braces come after some extractions, in a few weeks.

This seemed a perfect opportunity to help my boys practice giving compliments. So as the boys and I were walking to their preschool classroom, I said, “C is getting her braces on today so when you see her, after preschool, you should tell her that her braces look nice.” The boys replied, “okay.” And then we practiced a bit, just so it all felt comfortable to them to say that.

While they were at preschool the girls and I went to the orthodontist and the braces were applied. C has this wonderful thing about her. It seems like things like this never look strange or out of the ordinary on her. When she first got her glasses several years ago, she looked so good in them. They just suited her. Same thing, I think, with the braces. They look really natural on her. Of course I am her mother, so maybe I am biased.

After the appointment we went to pick up the boys. I ran in to get them myself and decided to remind them of what to say to their sister.
Step One: Ask her to see her new braces.
Step Two: Tell her she looks nice.
Very simple and my main concern was that they do step one before step two. Again we practiced and they were ready. They arrived at the van and it was a beautiful moment! Each boy asked to see the braces. Each boy, sweetly, told their sister how nice she looked. I was a proud mom, until A blurted out, “yeah, that is what mom told us to say.” We all laughed and C replied, “yeah, I figured.” My cover was blown.

My Mess: Counter and Island

Some time ago, I promised pictures of my clutter and how I organize it. And, I have done some of that and some more of that. Those areas have managed to stay fairly tidied after I went through them. But these two spots are my problem areas!

Now, I have to say that these pictures were taken on a particularly bad day. They are not normally THIS cluttered, but they are normally cluttered more than I am comfortable with. I love my kitchen. It is open and spacious, but the island and counter seem to be magnets for stuff. I try to put things away as I go, but sometimes there are interruptions and things just sit and more things join them.
On my island and counter sit a stamp, a card, stamp cleaner...to remind me to make a card that needs to be made; a craft set (see puppets below) and an educational set that my dad picked up for the kids; fruit M brought home that needs to be put away; my pyrex hot foods carrier from a meal we had with some friends, correction books for me to correct C's homeschool work; M's water canteens-they are finally dry and need to be put away; two place settings of dishes-an anniversary gift (thanks mom! I love them!); flowers I picked; flowers A picked, a wooden sign (another anniversary gift); two boxes of stuff my mom found at garage sales-some fruit for the play kitchen, books, craft items..; and of course there are a couple of dish towels and various papers and my planner...all waiting patiently for me to put them in away.

Yikes! How did all this stuff get here?!!! And how can I realistically keep my counters tidier? As I write this, my counter looks MUCH better than it did when I took the photos, but there is still stuff on it. It makes sense that things collect here as our kitchen island is really in the center of our home and a good place to put things while they wait to be put away. It is also a handy spot for the kids to put things that M or I need to see. I am trying to decide what is realistic and an acceptable level of stuff accumulation. I don't want to be ridiculously cranky about keeping the counters clear of stuff, but, I would like a better way to order things on them. Any tips?

Here are the puppets we made from the kit. Well, I say we, this was one of those projects where I realized that I was doing 80% of it, okay maybe 90%, but that is okay, the boys and I had fun anyway with it. We made these during the time I had set aside to organize the counter=). I am glad we made them, because it was a good time with the boys and I still was able to tackle the counter later.

Discoveries

At lunch the other day B proclaimed, “I can chew with my eyes closed!” Then A chimed in, "I can too!" Yep, they are talented.=)

Learning To Set The Table

Our family is big on eating meals together. The kids eat three meals a day together. M and I eat together earlier or I eat as I am making breakfast for the kids, that frees me up to get some other chores done or to feed the baby while the kids are eating. For lunch, I join the kids and M joins us all for dinner.

The area that I have noticed that we lack in, is in table manners. We do work on not talking with food in our mouths and that sort of thing. Although we certainly have room for improvement-ie the boys need reminders to “sit down on your bum”. But we don’t typically don’t set the table properly.

I have known that learning to properly set a table is an area we need to work on, but I had not gotten around to it. Then a couple of weeks ago a friend offered to laminate for free. That spurred me on! I had put this project off, in part because I had some elaborate ideas and didn’t have all I needed to create the placemats envisioned in my mind. But the offer of free lamination set me off to use what I happened to have around the house to quickly create placemats that would help the kids learn a simple way to set the table.

These have been a success! The kids race to see who gets to set the table. I usually delegate parts (B does napkins, A does silverware, C does plates and glasses…) so that they can all share in the fun =). My next step is teaching the kids to dish up their own plates, but I/they are not ready for that yet.

Welcome

One thing that I love about our home is having a front deck. I have always wanted a front deck that looks welcoming. This week, I was able to get the deck set up. One day my mom happened to stop by and she helped me move and arrange things. Thanks, mom!

This bench belonged to my grandma when she was growing up. She remembers sitting on it along with her siblings, eating dinner, when they all had the mumps. I love when items have a history.

I have had this table and the chairs for years and years. It is all perfectly chipped and worn. Wherever I live, it has a place. It has been outside, like it is now, creating a place for two. Other times it has been inside, at our former home, it was in my bedroom and held the T.V. and VCR.

Words, Phrases and Expressions By B

B has his own sweet ways of pronouncing words and his own unique phrases. He also has his own unique hearing system. For example, I just told him to be careful as he and his brother are jumping off of their desks. After I said, "be careful," he said to his brother, "mom just said that was cool!" Well, not exactly. In fact my "be careful" is my gentle reminder to not jump off the desks, I think I need to rephrase and be more direct. That happens often-the rephrasing and being more direct.

Here are some of my recent, favorite (mis)pronunciations:

"maflagingo" is flamingo

Akuna matada (did I spell this correctly? You know, it is the song from The Lion King) is "I like avocado." He walks around singing, "I like avocado."

"Scream" is screen, as in, "We pushed on the window scream." (Yes, this did happen, they were watching their daddy mow and pushed the "scream" out of their window. Think I will survive these two boys?=)

"On the down" means a lower place, as B would say, "I sleep on the down." To mean he sleeps on the lower bunk of the bunk bed. He also uses "on the up."

Some Links to Share

I have several things that I have been wanting to share lately. Today is the day!

First of all, I was so encouraged, challenged...by this post on Proverbs 31. Wow, did Sara nail it or what? I found that what she wrote resonated with my understanding of this passage of scripture. This is one of may absolute favorite passages and through reading this post, I was motivated to make some changes in my routine.

I am back to getting up early to do my prayer and Bible reading. Throughout the past months of welcoming a new baby and settling into our house, getting up early just was not happening. After I read this post, I found myself convicted that I needed to get back to that. It has been such a blessing, the actual getting up is a challenge at times, but the time of quiet fellowship with God is amazing. I have found that after doing that first thing, I am then more focused on praying as I get ready and on "taking my thoughts captive" so that they are thoughts that glorify God rather than being random, wandering (or critical) thoughts.

I am looking forward to making my own list based on The Heart of the Homemaker list at the end of the post. A list that suits my husband and family and challenges me to continue doing things that bless them and growing in areas that would bless them but that I don't do.

Next, Jess has a wonderful post on simplicity and frugality. All the links she mentions are great, but I especially enjoyed the Challies Dot Com post on frugality. The post is extremely well-written and thought-provoking.

Have a great day!

Tidying The Desk

Here are some more pictures of my clutter. This is our desk. M and I share it, but typically my clutter builds up more than his does. This is a typical picture of the desk. I decided to tackle it and tidy it up. I waited until quiet time so that the kids would be occupied and I could do this with minimal interruption. Then I set up a sermon on-line to listen to.


I started by sorting things into piles. I threw away A LOT of stuff.
Other things were put into my files, which need an overhaul, themselves. Right now, the front file holds all the "to be filed" stuff. That file is stuffed. I need to go through my file drawer and redo it. But that is another project.
Here is the impoved desk. My struggle is in maintaining the cleaned up version.






M and I each have an "in-box" style holder, but they too tend to get stuffed to overflowing. Some things I do to try to keep the clutter here to a minimum include: sorting each days mail as it comes, but some days that just does not happen; putting things away that do not go on the desk; placing things for M in his box and placing my stuff in my box; bills go into an envelope that hangs on the end of the desk. I believe the situation of knowing where to put clutter in this area may improve once we finish the upstairs bedrooms and have the office space as an office instead of a bedroom. BUT, in order for it to improve I do need to have good habits or it will just be a bigger space for bigger messes.

Lime Mango Sorbet

Yesterday I made a Lime Mango Sorbet from a recipe on Simply Recipes. It was so good that when I woke up in the night to feel L, I wanted to go get another bowl of it. YUMMMM! I did leave out the Tequila, M forgot to grab me some in town and I was anxious to make it. It was fine without it. And I used turbanido sugar instead of white sugar and I liked the subtle difference in flavor that added. Oh, and I left out the lime zest. These days, I don't zest. Just the time it took to cut the mangos was enough for me. And I found that 4 mangos was better than the suggested 3. And I don't have an ice cream maker, so I blended it all until smooth and froze-again, it turned out just fine.

A Freudian Slip in the Feed Store

I was at the local Feed Store the other day. I picked up two varieties of basil and a cilantro plant. After the herb class at Poet’s Garden, I have been inspired to start some herbs. A container of herbs on the front (facing South for sunlight) deck seemed like a good starting point to me.

After I picked out my plants, some potting soil, two yellow jacket traps, I was feeling pretty green thumbish. And I don’t have a green thumb. My main problem is that I forget to water things. My plants just tend to die. I do at times forget to water them, but that just seems so obvious, like the issue must be deeper than that. Although I do well with plants like aloe and ivy, I know that isn’t saying much. And I had an orchid that lived for over two years! And it wasn’t actually dead when I got rid of it, but it hadn’t flowered in awhile and I felt it was time for both of us to move on.

Anyway…feeling green thumbish…so I turn around to look the fertilizers. I learned at my class that plants and herbs like fertilizers. And it was suggested to look for a time release one. I start at the containers and that green thumbish feeling faded as I realized that I had no clue what I any of the bold proclamations on the boxes meant. Nitrogen something or other, sulphur, “No Phos” “Sulfate of Potash” “All purpose” “Bone Meal” “Transplant Insurance” “aerator.” Then I saw a humble, unassuming box of “Organic Nitrogen Fertilizer.” The box looked friendly and safe in its muted color tones when compared to the bright blaring boxes surrounding it. And, the word “organic” seemed to communicate “this is good for you.” So I grabbed it.

I went up to the counter to pay and I asked, “so…how much of this fertilizer should I use and how often?” S, the co-owner of the store, looked at my safe, friendly, humble box and mulled over the fertilizers contents, “really not a high nitrogen content…” Then she asked, “Are you wanting an organic fertilizer?” Now, I would think my response to that question would be, “yes, if possible.” But, Freudian slip or whatever, the words that, in spite of myself, came out were, “I just want my plants to grow!” Well, okay then. And then, so as not to sound too desperate, I added, “Well, I would like organic, but mostly I just want these to grow. I want to be successful at growing something and then I will worry about organic later.” I shocked even myself when this hidden desire burst out. S then nodded knowingly and led me over to the fertilizer section and handed me a brightly colored container of pellets and said, “put some in the soil when you plant and that should be it for this season for these plants.” Easy enough. Now, if I can just remember to water those plants…

2 Basils and A Cilantro

Beauty and Modesty

Here are some more links on modesty. Girltalk has several posts on the topic. There is also an excellent article on Crosswalk about modesty written by the Girltalk women. Here is a small quote from the article.

"You see, immodest dress is more than simply wearing skimpy clothing. Often, it’s an expression of pride, the opposite of humility. Simply put, immodest clothes are pride on display. In his book Humility: True Greatness , my dad explains that “The proud person seeks to glorify himself and not God, thereby attempting in effect to deprive God of something only He is worthy to receive.”

I had never connected immodesty and pride in this way before. Well stated!

Capitol Hill Baptist Church has two talks by Mary Mohler on beauty. I suggest taking the time to listen to them as they explore the topics of cultivating appropriate beauty and being modest. Mrs. Mohler explains some of the pitfalls of being physically beautiful in a way that is unique. I came away feeling pretty good that I am not a beauty queen.

At the same time I do appreciate her encouragement and exhortation to be attractive. Mrs. Mohler address this topic in an effective way.

I like this quote, just remember to "swim" modestly=):
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson

The Mysterious Root of Junior High Embarrassment

C tends to forget things and leave things places. I was never like that, so it is a bit of an enigma to me. But, I have come to accept that, just like I do forget to water plants and have my various quirks, so does my sweet daughter. Within a weeks time she left her purse at one place and then we walked into the local library and saw her sweatshirt behind the counter. I, being a mom, exclaimed, “Look C, it is your sweatshirt!” She looked like she wanted to die. So, being a mom, I say, “go get it.” She being that junior high age, pretended to not hear me and looked like she was wishing that if she wished hard enough she could be transported somewhere, anywhere else. Still not cluing in, I exclaim, “Go get your sweatshirt.” (By the way, she knows I am posting this and said that it was fine.)

Now, I was her age once. I worked with kids her age before being home with my kids. Why are junior high kids like this? Why is it mortifying to claim a lost item as ones own? Why? I don’t know. But, I remember feeling that same way. When I worked with junior high kids, I remember items being left in my classroom. I would hold them up and ask if anyone lost the item. And NO ONE would ever claim the item, although inevitably later the item in question would disappear, I assume that in some inconspicuous moment the owner grabbed it and safely tucked it away.

How mortifying to actually claim a lost item. But why? I can’t remember why I felt that way, but I remember that I did. I asked C why it is so embarrassing, she didn’t know either. We were able to talk about the library situation later and laugh at it, but she still couldn’t put into words why that sort of thing feels so incredibly awkward. I challenged her to work to overcome her feelings of embarrassment in times like that and I challenged myself to respect the mysteries of junior high embarrassment and to actively seek to not contribute to her embarrassment.

The Birth-Control Cry

Today I went into Target and had the rare circumstance of only having baby L with me. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly one can go from that mom with the happy, smiling, cooing little one to the mom with the screaming crying little one. I had a few things to pick up and about 2/3 of the way through the store, L had had it. I had done the unthinkable. I left home without the pacifier. I had grabbed it, rinsed it off and accidentally left it on the counter.

It wasn’t needed when we left because I left with a happy, smiling, cooing little one. The thought never crossed my mind to double check and make sure the pacifier was neatly tucked in beside L in her car seat. I mean, who needs a pacifier when leaving with a happy, smiling, cooing baby? Then, somewhere in Target a transformation took place. I could tell by the random, quiet fussiness that something was brewing. I could tell that my sweet baby girl was fading fast and being replaced by a screaming, crying, angry baby girl.

You know the type of cry. The type of screaming cry that causes small children with their mothers to wonder loudly, “what is wrong with that baby?” The cry that causes childless couples to refill their birth-control prescriptions. The cry that causes people who prefer pets over children to reaffirm their preference, yea, Fido may poop on the sidewalk, but at least he's quiet about it. The cry that causes people shopping by you to go to another aisle to get away from that racket, all the while wondering, “why doesn’t that mother do something.” And the cry that prompts knowing, sympathetic smiles from moms, dads, grandparents, aunts…who have “been there.”

It is funny how with baby #1 that scene was incredibly stressful. With baby #2 it was stressful. Now with baby #3, I am thinking “she will be fine while I grab these last 3 items on my list.” Because she will be fine and I won't be back in town for awhile. The diaper is clean, the tummy is full, she is just tired. But, I do feel a little bad for causing a commotion in a public place. That typically isn’t my style. So to ease the public disturbance, I do occasionally act like I am trying to “do something” to help her, all the while knowing that my attempts are futile and that as soon as we get in the car, she will fall asleep. Because she really is fine, tired and used to a pacifier, but none-the-less, fine. And next time I will remember to make sure I have a pacifier. In fact I am going right now to stash one in the van for emergencies.

Pandemic Flu

This is not a cheery topic, but as one web site stated, “be prepared, not scared.” Along with that phrase, I would like to add that we should also not be ignorant or naive about these things. Most of us know that we should have emergency supplies stored up for our families in case of a natural disaster, terrorist attack or pandemic illness, but how many of us have done this? I have thought about this from time to time and now that I have some storage space, our own place and life has generally settled a bit from the busyness of the past year, I am ready to pursue this more diligently. Although, even without those things being in order I should have pursued being prepared for this type of thing as disasters don’t wait until we are all prepared.

Trusting God to care for us and to supply our needs includes using the resources He has given us to make sure we do what we can to be prepared to care for our families. We need to do our best to plan ahead and then trust God to make up for what may lack. Think of the Proverbs 31 woman who did not fear, partly, because her household was in order. Or think of the virgins, in Matthew 25, who did not have enough oil for their lamps and missed out, while the virgins who were prepared were able to join in the feast.

Some spiritual preparations we should be striving for include making sure our children know scripture and know about God, from the tiniest age. I am inspired by the mothers of Moses, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, Joseph and Samuel who trained their sons well, so that when they encountered challenging circumstances, they still remembered their God.

We never know when we may be taken from our children or injured and our children would have to step in and make mature decisions. That could range from dialing 911 to young ones having to care for smaller siblings and ailing parents in a pandemic situation where there simply isn’t other help available. Of course, we rely on God’s grace in unique ways in tragedy, but we should be helping our children daily, to care for others and to know some age-appropriate basics of household chores and food preparations. The more prepared one is, the easier it is to handle difficult times with grace and a calm heart. C has taken the Red Cross babysitters class and learned some basic CPR/choking information. Even small children can be educated in some basics on this type of thing. (I am writing this also for me, as A is certainly ready to learn more in these areas).

I have a variety of notebooks as I wrote about earlier this week. In one of my notebooks I have household information such as sheets to fill out for babysitters, CPR info (I try to review every so often) phone numbers of poison control and doctors…I am adding some pandemic flu information to that.

When preparing for emergencies, also consider where you live. I noticed one web site on the pandemic flu said to be prepared with food, water and such for 2 weeks. Well, a few years back when we had our big wind storm, our place was without power for close to 2 weeks, if I am remembering correctly. I hope I am not exaggerating, but it was quite awhile. We lived in a more rural place and neighbors and places around had power, but for some reason ours took much longer to get back on. Given a disaster of greater magnitude, two weeks of supplies may not be enough. And more densely populated areas will tend to get services sooner than more sparsely populated areas.

Here are some helpful links:
http://pandemicflu.gov/plan/pdf/informationsheet.pdf

http://pandemicflu.gov/plan/individual/checklist.html

http://pandemicflu.gov/plan/individual/familyguide.html difference between seasonal and pandemic flu, interesting to note that pandemic is predicted to strike those with healthy immune systems hardest.

M&M's and Insight

I gave A some m & m’s and he asked if there were more.
“yes there are.”
“can I have some more?”
“No, we are going to practice self-control and not eat the rest now.”
“oh,” he relied in an understanding voice, “that means you are going to eat the rest later.”
Hmmmm…well, maybe. =)

Organizing Magazine Articles

I decided to start with an area in which I have had some success. This idea was first shared with me by Lucia, Lucia. She showed me a binder of ideas she had created. Her binder was a compilation of great ideas on home decorating that had been collected from magazines and placed in page protectors. I was totally inspired!

This is a great idea because it organizes and saves things without having to save a bunch of magazines, in their entirety.

I have this bag, as shown, (although sometimes I don't have great success in lining up my writing with corresponding photo, so bear with me). Into this bag goes the articles or pictures that I want to save. Then when it works out, I sit down and organize the articles into my binders. I have a binder for home decorating ideas, one for outdoor and gardening ideas, another for articles on topics such as different holidays, hospitality, marriage, parenting and such.

Here is my food binder. Recipes or ideas related to food go into this binder under labeled sections. I have sections labeled for breads, beverages, birthdays, pasta, nutritional tips...

This binder has a front pocket and as you can see, that pocket is stuffed full of pages to be filed.

When I have small articles or recipes, I take a sheet of cardstock and create a collage, of sorts, by gluing the papers all on one sheet. This sheet is from my appetizers section, I believe.

To create binders like I have created one would need:
binders-I suggest spending a little extra for the higher quality binders, they will last longer. This is especially a consideration for much used binders-like my food binder. I use it often and I want it to last.

dividers-This are used to label and divide sections.

plastic page protectors-I slip articles in these and it keeps them from wear and tear, but pages could be hole punched and placed into a binder. I buy these in bulk from Costco since I use them for my scrapbooks and for these notebooks.

cardstock, gluestick-this is needed to attach small papers to, like my collage shown above.

Clutter Control Challenge

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
~A.A. Milne

Jess and Lucia, Lucia, you have inspired, motivated, spurred...me to do some posts on organizing. I find clutter can overwhelm me, but I am like a magnet for clutter. My plan is to take some pictures of some of my piles and the process of bringing order to them-I have to overcome my pride and expose some of my junk. I am no expert in this area, not at all! It is really a battle, but one I am ready to take on, pile by pile... Any tips, suggestions, encouragement =) would be much appreciated.

My goals for this are to come up with some reasonable, affordable, managable ways to control clutter while at the same time cultivating a comfortable home that fosters creativity and growth of relationships (ie we don't want to feel like our house is a museum that has to always be perfect, but we do want some sense of order).