Last Day of Adoption Awareness Month

At the beginning of the month I asked C if she would feel comfortable writing something about adoption, something from her perspective. Here are her words:

"This month my mom has been sharing things about adoption. Isn't adoption neat? I have experienced adoption so I can say that it is a great thing! When you adopt a child that's older than when people usually adopt kids, you take away this loneliness and hunger to really feel loved and safe. Many kids need that love and a safe environment. I can tell you that being adopted is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. So, I want to challenge you, think about taking a kid into your home, remember how starved for love all of those kids are!"

She dropped this on my desk as she was leaving to go and help a friend with her kids for the morning. As she left, she said, "it isn't very long." Well, short as it is, it is perfect. Perfect because it is the honest outpouring of her heart. Perfect because sometimes fewer words are better anyway.

We get funny looks sometimes when we share that Chrissy is adopted. I do share that openly. I share openly because I want people to see adoption. I want people to see what it can look like in a family. Yes, we have struggles, yes we deal with issues directly relating to adoption in parenting, but mostly it is just parents striving to raise a child to love and honor her God. And that is the same task we face with each of our children. Each has struggles and strengths and is a delightfully unique individual, regardless of how that child joined our family.

Adoption is a beautiful picture of a relationship with Christ. That is the best part about it! Adoption is a picture of what it is like to know Christ and to accept Him as Savior and Father. For more on this, click on this link, it is worth reading. It not only shows the similarities between salvation and adopting a child, but it ends with a precious letter from a husband to his wife concerning their decision to adopt a daughter later in life. Read this letter! It is shows a wife who took a desire for adoption to her husband and waited patiently on the Lord when her husband did not share the same desire to adopt.

Random thoughts for today~

I recently started running. I have been on an extended hiatus (having kids, allowing inertia to take over). Today was day two and I have a faithful buddy to run with, so I am hoping, planning to stick with this. But, I can not believe the sore muscles I have. OUCH!

Tonight I tried a new recipe for dinner and no one, except me, liked it. And I had forgotten the muffins in the oven, they overcooked and were barely edible. M is kind and ate the meal without comment, but I could tell he was not digging it. Then the boys each said, “thank you mom for dinner, it is really good.” M and I busted up laughing. They are well trained in that. Then A took a bite of his soup and the tune changed. He did not think it was so good. M politely finished his muffins and soup and then wandered around the kitchen trying to discreetly and a bit desperately look around the kitchen hoping to see something else that I had prepared to go with the meal. Something else that he could fill up on. Nope, nothing else. Just a soup and bread dinner. Then his eye spotted the box of doughnuts that my mom had dropped off earlier in the day. That was a bright spot in the meal.

A: Mom, B shoved me!
B: I did not shove you! I was, I was…loving you.
Just another “love shove” between brothers. Balancing that fine line between fighting and bonding or maybe the fights do bond.

One Year and 1st Pigtails

L turned 1 recently. This photo was taken just before she burned her finger on the flame that looked so pretty she had to touch it, in spite of various concerned onlookers who exclaimed, "no touch!" We were trying to quickly get a picture but she was quicker and stuck her finger right on that flame. Thankfully, no real damage was done. She also had a hard time with the birthday hat, she did not want to wear it, until the cupcake arrived and distracted her.

Today she had her first pigtails. B exclaimed, "She looks like a Beth!" To see "a Beth" click on the link and look at the picture on the top left hand side.

A Man Grooming With a Gift

Yup, there he is trimming his ear hairs...

Oh, here is a good nose hair trimming shot, notice the "i love my wife" tee (my favorite)...

Pictures posted with permission, he has no shame =)

As I have read the wonderfully hilarious responses to yesterday's post, it dawned on me that last Christmas, Mark did request a nose and ear hair trimmer. So, he did request a grooming item! And I bought him one!

He was excited to try it out, as the above pictures show. But then he sort of stopped using it, or grooming with it. Come to find out, yesterday, he does not use it often because he does not think it works well. And I have to confess, I bought the cheapest I could find. I mean trimming nose hairs is not rocket science, wouldn't the cheapest work just as well as something more spendy? Maybe not. Maybe men DO want HIGH END grooming gifts. Maybe my husband is really wanting high end grooming items in spite of his response to our recent conversation.

Maybe my buying the cheap nose hair trimmer and the cheap fogless mirror is the problem! Maybe I should have splurged! In fact I am still trying to be cheap. He told me his fogless mirror fogs and my response, "Why don't you pick up some stuff that makes glass not fog up (I know about anti-fog stuff from my brief scuba diving days-very handy on diving masks and his work carries some of this stuff, so I am thinking we should give it a try)?" As I am thinking, "Dang, here I wanted to save money and if I have to buy another fogless mirror, I should have just bought the good one to begin with!"

I think maybe I am the problem! Maybe I under appreciate high quality men's grooming items! Maybe women like me, who laugh at men's grooming products, hinder men from expressing their true desires-a really good nose and ear hair trimmer! I have to say that when I purchase a grooming item, such as a hair dryer or flat iron or something, I want a good one. I expect to have it for years and I want it to last, to do a good job and to have the features I want. Why do I assume men want any less when and if they choose to groom themselves in this way?

The whole topic of "men's grooming items" still makes me giggle, but maybe I need to be more open and accepting so M can feel comfortable admitting he wants such items. Of course, after such a request, I would then probably need to leave the room so I could crack up with laughter.

Thanksgiving Pie

Reading the recipe...

Making the pie...

Not so thrilled because the pie is supposed to have two layers, with the cheesecake layer being on the bottom and the pumpkin layer on the top. When the pumpkin part was poured in, it looked marbled and not right...but she is off to Nana and Papa's to bake it anyway...

It ended up settling into two layers all on its own, except the cheesecake ended up on the top, with the pumpkin settling on the bottom and the taste...super delicious! Lesson learned: some things that seem to go wrong, turn out just fine in the end.

Thanksgiving

Growing up, Thanksgiving was a somewhat non-traditional holiday for our family. We experienced several deaths in our extended family so my grandma didn’t care to spend Thanksgiving home, as it reminded her of how many people weren’t with us. My mom’s siblings all spent the holiday with their in-laws. So, I can recall several Thanksgiving meals at restaurants and going to the zoo. Pretty non-traditional, but we had a great time.

After I married, for the first several years, we spent Thanksgiving with my in-laws. Once we had children, travel was not always as easy. Then my in-laws started splitting their time between their home and Alaska, so they were not always around. Last year, having just had L, M and I spent the day checking out of the hospital and coming home.

So, here we are this year and in the final stages of finishing our upstairs, so my mom, bless her, offered to do Thanksgiving at her home. But, now that we are settling into our home and all that, I want to establish some Thanksgiving traditions. We do have a couple of traditions. I will probably make cinnamon rolls, like I do the morning of Christmas. And we have a book that my mom gave us a couple of years ago, Thanksgiving: A Time To Remember, by Barbara Rainey. I have been attempting to read it to the kids on a regular basis. And our final tradition is that C makes a pumpkin pie.

I would like to cultivate more traditions for Thanksgiving. So I welcome input and ideas! I have enjoyed your input on Christmas letters and other Christmas gift ideas so much. So, now I am throwing out a request for help for more ideas for celebrating Thanksgiving.

More of C's Curtains

Here are some more curtains that C made. I found the fabric at a garage sale for $1 several years ago and they are a great fit for how she has her room decorated.

One Bad Apple

Remember the cool apple art that B did at preschool? Well, in the midst of the busyness of my week, which included having my entire pantry unloaded and stacked in my kitchen. Which meant that the apple art was inadvertently hidden for a time. When my pantry was finished and I was able to put the items back in there, I found this. Gross! At least life is never boring, there are plenty of surprises to keep me on my toes.

Have a wonderful weekend! And here is a link to an older post on the topic of motherhood in honor of Adoption Awareness Month.

Writing a Christmas Letter

I have sat and sat at my computer…waiting for inspiration. I have googled “Christmas letter” “writing a Christmas letter” “creative Christmas letter” “Christmas letter tips” “Christmas letter examples.” And I still am at a loss as to how to go about this.

One year I used an online site that creates crossword puzzles and word searches. You insert your own words and it creates a puzzle. That was cool and way easy. Last year I had the idea for a “simple little booklet” that contained the birth announcement for L, our new address, a family photo… They turned out fine, but simple they were not. I had more than one “what was I thinking to do something like this” moment. But they were fun, in hindsight.

I used to work at Kinko’s and I remember copying Christmas letters for people. This was before they were so into the self-serve thing. There were the standard, traditional letters, the letters that include the “Top 10 List” for the given year…basically the same things I found when I did my google searches.

I want a letter that is easy to read, not too long, interesting… I want a letter that is suitable for those near and far away in that someone that I have not talked with in ages would get a good update from the letter and at the same time the letter would not be overly redundant to someone that I see regularly. I want to write a letter that is humble, but informative. And actually when I read letters, I believe I prefer informative over humble.

I want to know what people are up to and if by chance they won the Nobel Prize (btw the brother-in-law of a friend did win that this year along with a group of several hundred other scientists that he works with, just a little trivia since this is probably about as close as I will ever get to a Nobel prize) so I actually don’t mind semi-braggy letters. I enjoy reading about what people are up to and I don’t like it when people don’t share interesting things because they are afraid to share.

Truly, I want to know what is going on in the lives of those I care about. And a Christmas letter tends to focus on the good and positive things, it just isn’t the forum for sharing all ones struggles. Not that I mind reading about struggles, but honestly most of us aren’t going to share our deep struggles with 50-150 of our “closest” friends, family, co-workers, past neighbors, former roommates and classmates…in our Christmas letter. Or if struggles are shared, they are usually a passing comment as most people tend to keep their Christmas letter focused on the positive.

Well, I have not had any trouble writing about my trouble writing a Christmas letter. But any ideas, tips, suggestions would be helpful. I have got to get this done and ready to mail….hopefully before Christmas, or at the very latest, before the New Year...

You Got Your Girl

This summer I ran into a woman that I had not seen in years. I had baby L in the stroller and the other kids were in the pool doing swimming lessons. This woman asked about my family, and I shared a little about C and the boys. Then I mentioned L, and the woman remarked, “Well, you got your girl.”

Now this comment caused some indignation to rise up within me. I had just told her about C and pointed her out as she was doing her swimming lessons. I believe my response was something along the lines of, “I have had a girl for almost 5 years, but yes, my most recent baby was a girl as well.” Her reaction to my response reminded me of a Winston Churchill quote, "Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened." As she appeared to have brushed off my words and moved on to tell me about her life. Maybe she felt embarrassed and simply didn’t know how to recover other than to move on. That happens.

Two of my cousins are adopted. My mom has shared with me how she, when trying to understand adoption, commented to my uncle (her brother) as he and his wife were in the process of adopting, “What if something is wrong with the child?” She has shared with me how her brother’s response was such a good one and how much she learned from it. He told her something like, “What do you mean? This is my child. What would you do if something was wrong with your child?” There are no guarantees with biological or adopted children. Both are precious, valuable and should completely belong to their family, come whatever may.

Laundry Surprises

Here are some items that have been found in my washer lately. Except the nails, they were confiscated before the clothes landed in the washer. But, I have found nails in the washer. The boys do building projects or find a nail here or there and stick it in a pocket. I am sure some day I will end up with a puncture wound-who knew laundry could be so dangerous.

Okay...about the boot...yes, I did discover it in the laundry yesterday. I went to unload the washer and felt something odd. Yup, it was the boot, all squeaky clean and sitting there in the washer. How on earth could that slip in unnoticed?

Here is my theory, I sorted the laundry and then asked the boys to go get their dirty laundry and sort it into the appropriate piles. I am thinking that that is how the boot slipped in. I think we need to work on more than just basic laundry sorting. We need to cover what items actually go into the washer and what things do not. The boot was not visible when I scooped up the pile and shoved it in to be washed. When I found it in the washer, I just had to laugh...the boot has never looked this clean, except when it was new!

Gratitude @ Largerfamilies.com

Today's post is a link to largerfamilies.com. My most recent post there is titled Gratitude For My Children. You may have to scroll down a bit to get to it.

Have a great day!

Adoption is...

"Adoption is when a child grows in her mama's heart instead of her tummy."

Goodness in My Life

This week has been a busy week, full of outside obligations and inside issues. Right now it is quiet time in our house (meaning that l is napping B is playing quietly in his room, C is doing school work in her room, A is at kindergarten...) and all I want to do is go take a nap, but something inside me is prodding me to take a little time to read and write. So, I am still tired, I still have tons to do, but my soul now feels refreshed. And that is a good thing. This post motivated me to list some of the goodness in my life:

the beautiful autumn sunshine, healthy kids, friends who watch my kids so I can get out for an evening while my hubby is traveling, our upstairs will be ready for paint this weekend, finally deciding on paint colors, having the upstairs closer to being done means that I should soon have a small space all my own to use to create in-I have projects that I can hardly wait to tackle-having a space for that will be refreshing, good friends, b signing "i love you" about 20 times throughout the day, finding just what I needed at a garage sale (I found two large glass bowls-my favorite one broke awhile back), back to the upstairs being almost done...I will finally be able to get fully settled into our home and unpack the rest of the boxes, and after over a week of having my pantry items sitting in my kitchen area-I will soon be able to put them back into the pantry-this is huge-traveling husband+construction going on in my house+limited counter space to use to prepare meals+4 children, that all means that it will be so delightful to have order back in my house again and that order is now in sight...

Beef and Black Bean Omelet

This omelet takes three eggs, a bit of milk, some dried basil, salt and pepper, a dash or two of Tabasco sauce whisked together. The filling is cheddar cheese, black beans and small bits of thinly sliced beef (precooked, I used some that was leftover from dinner). Serve with a dollop of sour cream and spicy salsa.

I started the omelet in the skillet, let it cook until the bottom was set, but the top was still a bit runny. Then I added the filling and folded it in half. I transferred it to the oven-I love my cast iron and that it can go from stove top to oven. Since I am in the process of changing some of my cookware to cast iron, this is still a novelty to me. I baked it at 300 degrees to finish cooking, but it could be set a bit higher than that, I had several things to do before we ate, so I set it low to finish cooking it without over cooking it. I was surprised by how much my kids loved this! In fact I made two of these and there was not a bit left over.

I am especially excited this omelet because I really enjoy omelets and this is the best I have ever had one turn out. Up until now I just have not been able to get the hang of it. I think I may be onto something here though.

Thankfulness

"Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality."
~Alfred Painter

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."
~Buddah

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
~Cicero

"The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings."
~Eric Hoffer

"The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving."
~H.U. Westermayer

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
~John F. Kennedy

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice."
~Meister Eckhart

"In the New Testament, religion is grace and ethics is gratitude."
~Thomas Erskine

Thanks for these quotes.

Apple Art

B did this at preschool, pretty fun.

I posted at largerfamilies.com today, so feel free to check out that post. It is titled, Think The Positive.

Have a great weekend!

November: National Adoption Awareness Month

C, with a sign that reads, "Adoption the loving option." This was taken a year ago, but I think it is the perfect picture to use for the first day of National Adoption Awareness Month.

For those who don't know, C joined our family almost 5 years ago, at the age of 7. Before she came to our family she had been in and out of foster care. She came to us directly from a foster home. When I read this: "Each year, November is recognized as National Adoption Awareness Month. While all adoption-related issues are important, the particular focus of this month is the adoption of children currently in foster care."

During this month, I want to highlight some things about our experience adopting a child that had been in foster care. Older child adoption is something that strikes a real chord in me. After C joined our family I became more aware of how vulnerable children are and how much they need a permanent and loving family. I guess I always had an awareness of this, but now I feel it in the depths of my heart, like never before.

Feel free to share your own thoughts, ideas or experiences concerning adoption. I would love to read them. Share on my blog or on your blog, but let me know so I can link to it.