Why Did I Get Married?

Ever asked yourself that question? Tyler Perry's film, Why Did I Get Married? raises some important topics.  The movie follows four couples, all college friends, through a mountain get-away to discuss marriage.  Along the way hidden things are revealed and couples are forced to face some real and really difficult issues.  The movie is hilarious in parts and super uncomfortable in other parts.  The fighting scenes are difficult to watch.  But the message of forgiveness, reconciliation and remembering not to take a spouse for granted are valuable.  

I do appreciate Tyler Perry's effort to communicate some important keys to successful relationships through this film, such as the 80/20 principle in marriage (you will have to watch to see what this is).  This film cleverly educates people about the value of persevering in a marriage.  It certainly isn't perfect, what film is?  But M and I enjoyed the humor and the way it brings up sensitive issues and gives hope.  So many films bash marriage, it is refreshing to watch a movie that confronts tough struggles and still strives to uphold the institution of marriage.      

Gathering and Reaching Out

A family we know invited friends and neighbors over for a Shoebox Get Together this last weekend.  Samaritan's Purse gathers shoeboxes full of gifts each November, as part of Operation Christmas Child.  We brought items to use to fill shoeboxes, watched a promotional video on what happens to the shoeboxes once we drop them off and enjoyed the time with one another kicking off the Christmas season.  

I have to tell about how our friends set up this event.  It was simple and so well put together.  They had "stations" for wrapping boxes, writing notes and filling the shoeboxes.  When we arrived we emptied our previously purchased items into boxes that were organized to hold either candy, toiletries, clothing, toys or school supplies.  Then people started wrapping boxes, others helped sort items, some helped set up the snacks that were brought to share.  It was beautiful to see the older kids help the younger ones fill boxes and write notes to put into boxes.  We ended the evening by watching a short video on Operation Christmas Child and praying for the children who would recieve each of our boxes.

Here is a link to a video of a PBS report on OCC's Shoeboxes.

Here is a link to a video of a girl who received a shoebox while in an orphanage in Russia. 

 

Adoption Matters

This is my final post on adoption for Adoption Awareness Month '08.

Maybe your family doesn’t have a member in it who has been adopted.  Maybe you don’t feel the least bit drawn to adopt a child.  Maybe you do know someone who has been adopted, but find that it is a non-issue because the person is just living their life and the reality of adoption simply fades into the background.  Maybe adoption is not connected to your life in any way.  Maybe your thoughts run along the lines of, “So what’s the point?  Adoption awareness month, okay, another “awareness month” big deal!” 

Why should adoption matter?  People adopt or they don’t, good for them, but really, why the big deal?  Well, it is a big deal for a couple of reasons.  First, adoption matters because if you are a follower of Jesus, then the Bible says "In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will." ~Ephesians 1:4-5.  That alone makes it a concept worth exploring and understanding.  Spend time looking this up and meditating on what that means, wow! 

Second, people need homes.  Babies and children need families.  Adoption provides an avenue for this to take place.  When people are in need, it matters, even if you aren’t the one to directly meet the need, it still matters.  

Adoption is a pretty amazing concept.  We, as human beings, all long for acceptance and connectedness with other people.  Family is the ultimate in connection.  No matter what your family relationships feel like, there is something about family that taps us in the inner parts of ourselves.  When we say, “That friend is like family,” it is a huge compliment!  It is a compliment even if we come from a dysfunctional, difficult family background.  It is a compliment because somewhere inside of us is a hope for good, right, lasting and deep connections with other people.  Therefore, whether adoption touches your life through a relationship with Jesus, or through an individual who has been adopted, or isn’t something that really matters to you.  I want to challenge you to stretch your thinking on this and to look for a way to make it matter to you a bit more. 

Some ideas:

Take some time to look up verses on adoption.  For a easy way to do that, click here, read the verses and take some time to think about that, think about what being adopted means, in a spiritual sense. 

Talk to your kids about adoption so that the word is not foreign to their ears and the concept is not foreign in their minds.  Talk about how cool it is that people who need a family have a way to have that need met when their birth parents aren’t able to meet that need.  Talk about adoption as being the good thing that it is. 

Check out books on adoption from the library.  Reading is a wonderful way to open the door for conversation. 

If you know of a person who has been adopted or of a person who has chosen to place a child into an adoptive family, and is comfortable and open with that, share that person’s story with your children.  Share how great it is that a family can grow through adoption.

 

Blogging, Facebook and Related Narcissism

I have often heard that blogging is a narcissistic endeavor.  And in some ways I can understand that.  Yet, in other ways, I don’t quite get that label.  It seems narcissistic in the same what that talking with a friend in a coffee shop is narcissistic.  Or in the same way that calling a friend to chat is narcissistic.  Or in the same way an author of a magazine article or book is narcissistic.  Which is to say that it isn’t necessarily narcissistic.  It sure could be.  But the medium doesn’t make it narcissistic. 

Blogging and social networking sites are just a current way to communicate and connect.  If my heart is self-focused (and it often is), then I am a narcissist no matter what I do, whether I engage in on-line connections or whether I express myself and maintain connections in other ways or whether I disconnect from others altogether.  I write this because I have heard it, “that is so narcissistic,”  said often enough, that I started to believe it, but hadn’t stopped to evaluate and consider whether this is just a box to dump on-line activity into or whether it truly is narcissistic.  If it truly is, then I need to examine my motives. 

It seems really nice to have access to blogs and Facebook.  I can’t go visit or have over several friends each day or week.  It really isn’t even realistic to call that many people that often.  So, it is nice to sit down at the computer for 30 minutes here or 5 minutes there and connect with others.   

My conclusion is that social networking sites and blogs are just mediums, they are just ways to relate and connect with others.  Pretty cool ways to connect.  While, I can get quite self-focused at times, I am thankful for the opportunity to peruse multiple blogs or take a break on Facebook and remember that there are others out there, beyond my four walls, living their lives.  For me, I find that often helps to refocus my thoughts from myself onto others and their lives and ideas.  And for an extrovert like me, that makes being at home the majority of the time not feel confining.  I am at home, but I am connected to the outside world.  I really like that!   

Edamame, Our New Fav Veggie

M and I often order a bowl of edamame at a restaurant we occasionally get to.  We really enjoy it so when I saw it at Azure Standard, I ordered some.  Last night we served it with our family meal and it was a hit!  The kids were way into it.  It is yummy and so easy to make!  It is a fun way to branch out a bit from the ordinary veggies.

Well, It Finally Happened!

We have been waiting on paperwork for...months...and finally it all came together and he received those gold bars!  

A Great Guy Gift

This has to be one of the coolest "guy gifts" ever. When I first saw this, bottle opener, I thought it was very manly, so I ordered it for a gift for M. He loved it! It was one of those items that is even better in real life, I think, than it looks on the website or in the catalog.

This is the third item I have ever ordered from Pottery Barn, in my entire life-I am a bargain shopper, by nature, and I have received the catalog for y-e-a-r-s and been inspired by the Pottery Barn style (Target's PB knock offs inspire me even more, but that is another post =)!

There was my card holder and I adore it too. The other item was a "Happy Birthday" banner from about 4 years ago. It is canvas and is great! We put it up for each birthday-I love easy decorating. Anyway, I am getting off track, reminiscing about my favorite finds... Just wanted to share about this bulldog because it is a fun, unique and well-priced item. And it is getting to be the time of year for gift giving (Whoo-hoo!) and I can hardly wait for Christmas!!!!!!!!!

Put Your Hand In Mine

Continuing to observe Adoption Awareness Month...

Typically adoption is talked about when someone is pursuing it (“Oh, how exciting!”) or when a child makes poor choices and happens to be adopted.  Then the “Well, he/she was adopted.” starts to run through the minds of people and at times is voiced.  As if children who aren’t adopted don’t make poor choices or wrestle with challenging circumstances.  Which brings me to a sometimes overlooked aspect about adoption and that is the opportunity it brings for discipleship/mentoring.  

Parenthood is opportunity for mentoring whether children arrive through adoption or other means.  From what I have read (I don’t know Greek!) the word mentor comes from a Greek word meaning enduring.  Isn’t that beautiful?  Don’t we all want enduring relationships?  In parenting we ought to be mentoring our children, we ought to be enduring with them, we ought to be walking side by side along the road of life with them. 

Pouring into the lives of our children is no small thing.  And, yes, sometimes things do go differently than we had hoped.  Sometimes things go terribly wrong.  That can happen whether a child is adopted or biological.  And what every person, young or old, adopted or not, needs is enduring relationship.  It is mentoring.  It is discipleship.  It is what parenting is all about. 

"Put your hand in mine and let us help one another to see things better." ~Monet

Stretching the Wings a Little More

It was bound to happen.  But it still shocks me when it does actually happen.  L managed to climb out of her bed all by herself.  A came downstairs to ask me if L could climb out of her bed.  In the mist of getting ready, I replied, "So far, no, why?"  "Well, she was running around her room, but I didn't go in there, I can just hear her."  Sure enough, when I arrived, there she was sitting on her floor playing.  I am still not sure of exactly how she got out.  A used to throw his pillow and blanket on the floor and then climb out of his crib and land on them-pretty smart.  Just one more reminder that the baby is going and a little girl is emerging.

Thanksgiving Books

Over the years we have sought to build up our home library and thanks to friends and family as well as an occasional book we pick up, we are building up a nice collection.  Some of my earliest memories of my life are of reading books (reading pictures before being able to read words) with my family.  I hope my children carry similar memories with time as they grow up.  

This set of three books is called the Plymouth Set and is offered by Vision Forum.  The Thanksgiving Primer is a 40 page booklet that contains a good deal of history and specifically focuses on: recipes (authentic, if not always appealing), pilgrim dress (this is quite detailed and interesting, for those who like fashion) children's games and the like.  Of Plymouth Plantation is by William Bradford and is quite interesting if a little tedious.  I do have to confess that I have not yet finished it even though it has been on my bookshelf for about 3 years.   The other book is a visitors guide to Plymouth.  I hope to take it along if I ever have the opportunity to visit. 
This is a sweet book.  It is quite detailed and full of photographs and historical information.  It is certainly worth having on the bookshelf.  It contains a story and a glossary of pilgrimish words.
This book begins in the "old country" and then follows pilgrims through the four seasons, ending with the first Thanksgiving.
Sorry the picture is so tiny.  It was hard to even find this book since it is from 1974.  It is the familiar "Over the river and through the woods to grandfather's house we go..." poem.  The illustrations are quaint and it has the music to the poem in the back.  I don't play the piano, but maybe I will have to see if C wants to learn this.
This book was a gift from my mom and came with a CD of music.  It is a very nice book.  I like how it has the story of the pilgrims written in large print and smaller print.  The larger print is a shorter version for younger children.  The smaller print has more details and is better for older children.  That is perfect for our family.  It is becoming a tradition to read this each year.
This story is cute.  My favorite part of this book is the artwork.  There are delightful maps, a timeline and great drawings of the Mayflower and Plymouth with labels.  The artwork is charming and engaging.    
A historically accurate retelling of the story of the pilgrims.  This book has beautiful, realistic artwork and highlights the role that Squanto played in helping the pilgrims to survive.  The book does a nice job of gently explaining the differing mindsets of the pilgrims and the Indians.  This book captures the meaning of Thanksgiving in a simple, yet, complete way, from the pilgrims voyage, to the relationship with Squanto to Lincoln proclaiming a national holiday of "thanksgiving and praise."

That Holiday Spirit

This year I can hardly wait to decorate for Christmas.  The past two years were not like that.  Just the thought of getting out the decorations was unappealing because it meant that they would have to be packed up again (move work to do), so we decorated fairly minimally.  To add some perspective, two years ago we had just moved into our house, had an infant and things were still in boxes-it was chaos.  Then last year around this time we began work on the upstairs, so that was a bit of a mess.  As good as it felt to move and make progress on the house, it was not so fun to have things in disarray.  I must be feeling more settled than in the past years because this year I am having to tell myself to slow down and enjoy Thanksgiving before getting all the Christmas stuff out!  It is a good feeling. 

Painted Rooms

Here are the pictures of the rooms we recently painted.  I am happy with the colors.  I wish my photography skills captured it better, but it is what it is.  The living room color is a touch more yellow looking in the evening light than anticipated, but it is growing on me.  It looks perfectly nice the rest of the time.  I have to say that I adore the red!  

I can't say enough about how much I appreciate Miller Paint Company.  Their line of Devine Colors are, well, divine!  For the living room color of Shellbourne Buff, which is actually a Benjamin Moore color, I went with Miller's basic standard interior paint.  The cost is almost half of what a gallon of Ben Moore paint runs.  And at Miller's you don't get the customer dis-service of the big home improvement stores.  Now, I appreciate those big stores at times, but when I have questions about projects, I just appreciate those smaller places.  So, grab that Pottery Barn catalog check out the paint colors and go see if Miller can match them!   

Or just go in to Miller and check out the Devine colors or an even easier option is to check out the Devine blog and get a heads up on the colors before you hit the store.  The blog is extremely helpful.  It helped me to know which red I wanted before going to the store.  The blog is full of all sorts of painting and decorating tips.  For the red paint, I splurged on the Devine paint-it was completely worth it!  They claim it covers in "almost one coat"and it is true!  I have heard many stories about 3rd and 4th coats of red paint to really get it to cover well, with the Devine paint, it was two coats and some touch up in a few spots-just like painting with any other color I have painted with.

This red is the 3rd Devine color I have used in my home and each color has been delightful.  The other colors were selected from the Devine line and mixed into standard Miller paint.  That worked really well with the lighter colors, but I am glad I went with the higher quality paint on the red, because it is so dark.  

I just have to mention my card holder that is above the doorway in this photo and the second photo.  It currently doesn't have anything in it because it was just re-hung after painting.  I received some Christmas money last year and bought it.  It is wonderful!  I typically don't buy items from Pottery Barn, the catalog just serves as inspiration =), but this is one purchase that has been great!  It is up all year long holding pictures of the kids or valentines or birthday cards or...

Adoption Awareness Month

Some quotes I ran across...

"I have 4 children.  Two are adopted.  I forget which two."

~Bob Constantine

Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,

but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute,

you didn't grow under my heart, but in it."

~Unknown

Time and experience have taught me a priceless lesson: Any child you take for your own becomes your own if you give of yourself to that child. I have born two children and had seven others by adoption, and they are all my children, equally beloved and precious.
-Dale Evans

Pineapple Upside Down Cake Recipe

I have never cared for Pineapple Upside Down Cake.  The only time I had eaten it was in grade school.  It was one of the desserts offered in the cafeteria.  I believe I tried it once and decided it was not appealing.  When that recipe card was handed out at the cast iron class, nothing in me wanted to taste it.  But, not wanting to seem rude, I figured I would survive a taste.  Well, not only did I survive, but it was quite good.  So, Beth, here is the recipe:

1/2 cup butter

3/4 cup brown sugar

8-10 slices pineapple or a can of pineapple chunks

1 yellow cake mix

1 & 1/2 cups pineapple juice

1 t vanilla

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Melt butter in a 12" cast iron skillet.  Add the brown sugar and spread over the bottom.  Arrange the pineapple slices around the bottom.  If you want, put a maraschino cherry in the middle of the pineapple slices.  Put cake mix in a bowl and add the juice.  Mix well.  Pour slowly over pineapple.  Bake 25-30 minutes or until the top is done and springs back at your touch.

Cooking With Cast Iron

Last night I had the opportunity to take a class called, Cooking With Cast Iron.  It was an evening of eating delicious food and learning more about cast iron along with a group of women.  There was great joy in sharing a meal together as we ate, learned, laughed and prepared recipes.  

Here is  a corn bread recipe from the evening, C is preparing this for our dinner tonight:

1 cup flour

1 cup cornmeal

4 T sugar

1 T baking powder

1/2 t salt

1 cup milk

1/2 cup butter, melted

3 cups corn

1 cup sour cream

Mix all ingredients together and place in a large greased skillet.  Bake for 50 minutes.

Easy and delicious!  I think I will go mix up some honey butter to eat with it!

The process is a touch maddening, but the results look to be quite lovely!

Currently my life is all about Paprika and Shellburne Buff and managing kids and homeschool and making meals and doing laundry (which has yet to be folded-no fun when I when I just let the clean stuff pile up) and a few other things, I am sure, all while trying to finish painting...photos to come soon-I hope!

A Collage of Weekend Fun!

Isn't Fall great?  This last weekend was a delightful time to enjoy many of the delights of autumn. 

• pumpkin carving
• a cider pressing party with friends
• m fixing the garbage disposal that decided to act up while he was gone
• m making a covering for our front door so that we don't get drenched while trying to unlock the door
• finalizing my paint color for the office (i went with the left hand swatch and spent today painting...but that is another post)

Adoption Awareness Month '08 Post #1

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Last year I posted several times throughout the month on adoption and I plan to continue to do that this year. Adoption is a topic that is very dear to me, but as we head up toward this election, I wanted to take some time to give some links to some important sites, they are linked throughout this paragraph. See, valuing life is what is so important. If we truly value life, it will determine many things for us. It will mean that whether a person is tiny, or differently abled, or elderly or whatever, they still have value because they are a person. Valuing life, valuing people is key. And, just for your information, Senator Obama, a baby is not a punishment! A baby, a child, is a gift, no matter if they meet the culturally defined standards for intelligence, coordination or appearance.