"I Love It" and, Really, I Do Love It

These were the Christmas gifts given to me by my oldest son. The lipstick name should be "shocking pink," as it is very bright. This gift makes me smile. The bright pink lipstick, the candy cane earrings... But what makes me smile the most is that he was being really thoughtful in selecting this gift. He told me, "I know you like lipstick and nail polish and earrings, mom!" It is true, I do like those things, maybe not the "shocking pink" color, but those are things I like. I know his heart. I know that he puts a good deal of thought into selecting gifts. So, when I said, "I love it!" I really meant it, but I meant something more than just that, I meant, "I love you and I love how thoughtful you are."

Two of My Favorite Ladies

On Christmas Day my grandma, not the one in the care center that I have written about recently, came and spent Christmas with us at my parent's house. She and L had great fun as she pushed L for rides on her walker. The walker has a seat. Which is quite handy for my grandma when she gets tired. L found herself right at home on that seat and she and grandma had more fun going around the house together.

Visiting Grandma

On Christmas day we went and visited my Grandma, who was moved to a care center a few months back. When she first moved in we visited regularly. Then we stopped going. Typically when we went to visit her she was sleeping and if she was awake she would say, "Hi" then pause a moment and say, "You can go now." Often it didn't seem like she even knew who I was. Then colds went through our family and lasted for almost two months. Colds are not welcome in the care center.

There was also the difficulty that a visit brought. On the way down to my grandma's room a resident who was often in the hallway tried to grab at us as we walked by. The poor lady probably just longed for human contact, but it is unnerving to be grabbed onto by someone who refuses to let go. Add to that her inability to talk and her slumped posture. It is scary to the kids. Basically a visit to the care center is just hard.

The care my grandma receives seems to be excellent. The aides are compassionate and considerate. There is a resident cat and three dogs that visit on a regular basis. I love pet therapy. So simple, yet so effective in drawing people out and bringing comfort. It is obvious that great efforts are made to create a positive environment.

But, sometimes aging is just not pleasant to look at. There are the worn out bodies and delusional minds. There is the smell. This care center is kept clean, but still there is a unique smell. There is the knowledge that many of the residents are not going to get better. They are there until they die. That is sad.

Christmas evening we went in to see my grandma for the first time in a couple of months. She was doing quite well, considering her age and recent declines. She was sitting up, she knew who we were, she was happy we were there. She enjoyed opening the presents my parents brought her, even though, I am not sure she knew it was Christmas Day.

Then there was the man at the table with her. He slumped in his wheelchair, but he yelled and shouted and spit on the floor. From the shouts and yells, I can only guess that he was a veteran of war. From his age, I would guess World War II. He was not in the care center in his mind, he was in a battle. He was someplace where it was okay to spit on the ground. Needless to say, this was quite unsettling to my children.

My mind raced as I searched for how to explain this to my children. I grasped for a way to help them understand and to not be afraid and uncomfortable. Some way to help them see the value and dignity of this man, in spite of his current state. I prayed. And searched for words. Then I did my best to explain how aging sometimes impacts our minds. The kids still stared, but they didn't seem quite so afraid, uncomfortable, but not so frightened. Maybe my fumbled words helped them to begin to understand something.

And it hit me. Part of the reason, other than sickness, that I avoid going to visit my grandma is that it is highly uncomfortable for me as much as it is for the kids. Each visit brings us face to face with difficult realities that aging can bring. As we walk down the halls and see the slumped bodies and hear the yelling and avoid grasping hands, it is bringing us face to face with a very uncomfortable reality. It brings us face to face with the ravages that time brings to our bodies in this fallen world.

I am completely pro-life. By "completely" I mean I accept the sovereignty of God in the value of life from the point of conception in the womb to the day that God sees fit for a person to breathe their last breath. I am not an advocate of euthanasia. Yet, as I look at these people who have passed from their time of serving an obvious useful purpose in society, I can see how a lack of understanding of the sovereignty of God would lead people to mistakenly believe that killing older or disabled people is actually the best, most compassionate choice. I can see how modern medicine, which has brought so many blessings, also extends life and allows people to live longer than in previous generations. That raises some ethical questions.

Questions are okay. Questions can be good. But we must not forget who we are and who we are not as we seek answers. We are not God. And God says in His word that He works all things for good for those who love Him. That means that there is good even in the aging process. That means that God can be glorified even in dementia and in bodies that no longer function and in the pain and discomfort that I feel when I face those things. No, the residents in the wing of the care center where my grandma live no longer contribute to society in the ways typically deemed valuable. But they are still valuable. God can still be glorified in that place. Facing aging people can motivate us to humility, remembering that many of us will one day be where they are. Depressing? Somewhat, but, not so much, when we remember the future hope that awaits us in the next life. For those who are in Christ Jesus, this life is a shadow, it is temporary, so very temporary when compared to eternity.

When we face people who have nothing tangible to offer us, we can practice loving and serving without any return from the recipient. We can face the fears and questions in our own hearts and pray that God would make us more willing to accept, graciously, whatever He sees fit to bring into our lives or into the lives of those we love. Not easy stuff. Not at all. But so very worthwhile to consider and prepare our hearts for.

Christmas Morning

Christmas Eve

I didn't feel much like making a big Christmas Eve meal...but the kids kept asking it we were going to have a fancy dinner with candles, so I did get out the china and candles. And it was great fun. Friends surprised us with beautiful cupcakes. Don't they look amazing? Let me tell you, they tasted delicious! Truly, delicious. I am a little picky about frosting, and these were cupcake perfection. Don't they look great on my Christmas dessert plates? The cupcakes match the plates-how cool is that? And totally unplanned.

The pies were made yesterday to be eaten today, on Christmas day. C and I made a pear pie and a coconut cream pie. Yum! Since a friend passed on a pie crust recipe that is just foolproof, I am loving making pies. For the first time ever my pies don't just taste yummy, but they actually look good.

Our final lego advent calendar window was opened yesterday. We now have a lego Santa and chimney, complete with two little stockings. The other advent calendar had a beautiful picture of Baby Jesus.

We skipped actual stockings this year and instead I filled M's combat boots for the kids. In a short while we will eat cinnamon rolls, drink English Breakfast tea, read the story of the birth of Christ and open gifts.

Here is to a very Merry Christmas! So many blessings. Yes, my heart is a bit sad, missing my husband, but the many blessings of the birth of Christ and the love of family and friends, good food and thoughtful gifts are helping to make the ache subside. So very much to be thankful for.

From Our Reading Chair-Christmas Stories and My Thoughts on Santa and a few thoughts on the Easter bunny snuck in somehow...

We have a chair we call "the reading chair." We bought it from our neighbor this summer at a garage sale. It is a huge chair. This chair is big enough to fit me and the three younger kids. If she sits on the ottoman, C can even join us up there. It is the perfect chair for gathering together and sharing stories. It has been the perfect place to do school work and now to read books that help us anticipate our celebration of the birth of Jesus.
One of my desires for this Christmas season was to have a number of books wrapped under our little countertop tree. The plan was to open the books throughout the month and read them. I had planned to do this last year, but it didn't work out. The book order from Scholastic was later in arriving than had been expected and life just got busy. I saved the books and planned on putting them out this year.
Then, two days before Thanksgiving, my voice went out. It was not totally gone, but it was hoarse and that made speaking difficult. My voice is almost back to normal now. Being as my voice was not functioning, I did not wrap up all those books. My plan was to just keep them in my closet and pull out a book every so often and read it when my voice came back. It was just this week, the third week of December, that my voice actually worked for out loud reading.
We are, now, enjoying reading these wonderful books about the birth of Jesus. Many of these have been purchased through Scholastic for very reasonable prices. If you are able to order through Scholastic, I recommend it. The prices are wonderful. These books are some of our favorites for this time of year. Some are old favorites that we have had for awhile and others are new favorites.
Do we only read books about the birth of Jesus during this time of year? No, we don't. I do save my non-holiday, winter themed books to bring out after Christmas. But we do read some books with Santa in them. I know that can be a touchy subject for some. We have Curious George Christmas, The Night Before Christmas-which is the poem with illustrations and several other books with Santa.
My kids understand that Santa is part of our culture. Since part of their schooling involves learning myths and reading/listening to lots of stories, they seem to understand that Santa is a myth. They understand St. Nicholas and stories about him and seem to discern St. Nicholas from Santa Claus. They understand that Santa is not the giver of gifts. Although they do like that he gives candy canes!

I have read a bit on reasons to not include Santa in Christmas. And we don't really decorate with Santa. We enjoy going and looking at the lights and other holiday festivities and often Santa is there. I guess I look to my own upbringing for guidance in this area. Santa just never was a big deal growing up. He was neither forbidden or overly encouraged.

My parent's never told me gifts were from Santa. I always knew he was not real. But I still left out milk and cookies "for Santa," with the full knowledge that my dad was the one who ate them. Our kids sometimes do the same thing. They know that M eats them. We don't claim any gifts are from Santa. We talk a good deal about Jesus and celebrating His birth. One way we focus on Jesus is through reading the story of His birth on Christmas morning before any presents are opened.

This season we do want to celebrate the birth of Jesus and we do want to make Him the center of our lives. But, honestly, we want to make Him the center all the time. It isn't just at Christmas. I don't think Santa ruins kids or takes away from Jesus any more than other things at other times of the year. If Santa is a major stumbling block in one's faith, there may be some other issues to evaluate.

I am totally not into lying to kids (ie telling them Santa is real and takes presents to "good boys and girls"). But, I am into cultivating wonder. I am totally supportive of preserving joy and wonder and awe and imagination. I believe those things are compatible with the Gospel. I am sure that comes from the influence of the writings of C.S. Lewis in my growing up years.

For example, we talk about the tooth fairy, but the kids know it is mom and dad. We wear a pair of fairy wings-in fact we make a joke out of it. It isn't a big deal if the kids see us, because there is still something unique about seeing a parent in fairy wings taking on the persona of a fairy. And if the kids sleep through it, there is still the joy of waking up to money where a tooth was when sleep came over them.

All sorts of things can take our focus off of living a Christ-centered life, not just Santa or the Easter Bunny. Yup, EASTER, I call it Easter Sunday, not Resurrection Sunday. Not because I want to in any way deny the resurrection, but because, in our culture it is called Easter. Simply renaming holidays does not draw people to Jesus, but living my life to honor and glorify Him, just might draw someone to Jesus.

When considering things that take our focus off Christ, I really don't think Santa is the big problem. Maybe for some people it is, but honestly, I just don't see that. I do think many other things take our focus off Christ, including selfishness, materialism, pride, busyness and a number of other things. But, those things are things I battle all year long. They don't just attack me when I see Santa handing out candy canes to kids and then go away on December 26. Really, that would be easier.

Include or exclude Santa as your conscience directs, but keep the right perspective. It is not superior to include or exclude him. Remember, he is a myth, let's not make him more than that, either by centering our Christmas around him or by centering our Christmas around how well we avoid him. Christ should be the focus of our lives, all the time. Not more so or less so at Christmas time. We should be striving for consistent abiding in Christ. All the time.

Thank You, Dolly!

When we were in Georgia, we learned about Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. Then when we got back home, we learned that our local school district was signing kids up for it. This is the second book L has received. She loves getting the books in the mail. If you have a preschool kid, look into it!

Getting The Tree

I had a desire this year to go to one of those tree farms where you take a ride out to the trees and cut down a beautiful tree, ride back and finish the adventure with something warm to drink. And it happened! Ahhhh...dreams do sometimes come true. Our tree this year is about the most beautiful tree we have ever had. And the price was fabulous. Living in the Northwest, Christmas trees are relatively inexpensive and this one was a good deal for even here. I am sure we will be back next year. And don't the pictures look great? I mean they captured a "perfect" day. It was freezing cold, but we were bundled, so it was enjoyable. The thing with pictures, though, is that they don't tell the entire story, do they?

Here is the story behind the pictures. I woke up the morning we got the tree and just was not in the mood to do school with the kids (that is another post, one I have been hoping to write). As I went about the morning, eating breakfast, getting everyone ready for school, my mind was searching for an escape. What could I justify doing besides school? I sat in our swivel chair in front of the computer and slowly rotated around to face the living room, it hit me. We absolutely need a Christmas tree! Now! I quickly searched google, found a tree farm, called, the prices were really good. I paused to consider if I wanted to tackle this on my own with the kids. Nope, not really. I called my dad. He was totally up for this adventure. Three cheers for people who are retired! I love that he has such a flexible schedule now.

I hollered to the kids, "Get on warm clothes, we are getting a tree!" I dug out our box of stocking hats, gloves...and we bundled up. We were a little too bundled in the van. Everyone got hot and let me know how hot they were. Oops. But we were on the road! Off to get a tree. We arrived at the tree farm, only to see the sign that it didn't open for over an hour. Stink! How did I miss that? I even called, but, come to think of it, I hadn't asked when they opened. I just assumed that since someone answered the phone and since I said we were coming in, I assumed they were open.

So, we went and ate an early lunch. Not in my plan or budget, but oh well, the food was still yummy and it was fun. Except for the parts where a kid had to go potty and when that kid got back to the table another kid had to go potty. And sometimes I wonder why I am such a fast eater. If I want to eat, it has to be fast. Then there were the inevitable spills that come with kids. Oh, and there was the other not so great part when a kid coughed up a huge wad of mucus on the table. So disgusting! But in super mom speed, I had it wiped up quick-fast so as not to ruin the meal for everyone. And I wonder why I catch what they all have.

At that point our stomachs were full and the tree farm was almost open. We drove back and from that point on things went well. See the pictures. We were outside, so the kids could be loud and rowdy, a good time was had by all. It was chilly, cold, but it was sunny and just beautiful.

By the time the tree was loaded on the van, we had to hurry back to get C to her afternoon classes. We were almost late. Then we got home and I was feeling a little worn out. And we still had to get the tree set up. Again, I was thankful my dad was there to help. The joy of it all was starting to wear off and the kids all wanted things, one seriously wanted a nap, the tree had to be dealt with...it all got done, somehow. The tree really does look amazing.

This whole adventure reminded me (again) of how crazy life can be. It reminded me of how reality is complicated. It is full of moments of crankiness, joy, kind words, arguing, plans changing and so much more. I look at our pictures and I smile at the sweet memories, both those captured by the camera and those not captured by the camera.

Our Feathered Friend

Growing up, we had a Woodpecker that was often on a tree outside our house. I like that this guy is hanging around where I live now and that my kids get to watch him. Woodpeckers are funny. They scurry around the tree if you get too close. My zoom lens let me get close to him for this picture.

Profession of Love

Having the kids write this on the deck is almost like having one of them come home with an "I love Mom" tattoo. Like, "Thanks? I think." Okay, so you love me, and that warms my heart, it really does. But did you have to write it on the deck? Such mixed feelings this profession of love brings.

But...mostly...it makes me smile. Smile because they love me, smile because this is what they thought to write when they decided to write on the deck, smile because I am sure they wrote it to bring a smile to my face. I love them too! I just don't write it on the deck. But I hope I am writing my love for them in thousands of other ways.

Elizabeth Esther has posted on her blog about gratitude and romance. It is a worthwhile read.

Fun Craftiness

Kids Craft Weekly is a fun, new-to-me, website. We signed up for their Christmas card exchange a few weeks back, made cards, mailed them and have been receiving cards from other families. We are loving the cards! It is fun to get them in the mail and read about the traditions of other families during this season.

Kids Craft Weekly also offers a weekly email that contains a craft idea. So far the only activity we have done is to make the Christmas cards, but having a weekly email is a nice reminder to do a craft every so often.

I Like Free!

Don't forget about itunes free Christmas downloads. I believe they have one free song per week. The one for this week is pretty good. AND, thanks to Jawan, I now know that Amazon has free downloads too! Whoo-hoo! Now, if I can just remember how to get the Amazon downloads into my itunes music...

Old Habits Die Hard, and Sometimes They Just Won't Change At All

I want to rant. I want to complain. But, most of all, what I really want is for my younger kids to sleep in later! The time change is a pain. Every year I dread it. For good reason. My kids simply are in the habit of waking up at a certain time, no matter what the clock says. That time is not so bad when we are on day lights savings time, but come standard time, it is just too early. They simply do not adjust to the time change. Ever. They just go on sleeping and waking at about the same schedule in spite of the clock flashing a different time. Sigh. I know there will come a day when they will sleep in later and when this will be a distant memory. And I can be thankful that, typically, they play in their rooms after they wake up. Sometimes they play a bit too loudly, but at least they play together and keep entertained for a bit.

The Countdown Begins

I love Advent calendars. I always have. There is such a thrill in opening the little windows and seeing what lies behind the flap.

When we visited the National Cathedral, in the spring, I found a beautiful Advent Calendar and bought it as our souvenir from the cathedral. It is in the background in the picture. Finally, we get to start opening the windows on it! YAY! The flap for today revealed a picture of a dove. And I already peeked, the flap for the 24th has BABY JESUS behind it! I am always disappointed when that flap has Santa or a teddy bear (?!?) or the worst, although the teddy bear is about this bad, but the worst is when there is a wrapped present. Really? Is that the best you can do? I guess so, when you are avoiding Jesus, maybe that is the best that can be done.

About a month ago, I was on-line purchasing Christmas gifts and I saw this. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Lego had their very own City Advent Calender. It was an impulse purchase, but I bought it. In the photo it is wrapped up in the brown paper. Apparently they have other versions that are rather spendy. I opted for the basic version. When we unwrapped it last night, the kids, mostly the boys, were thrilled. I beamed that radiant glow that comes from finding the perfect special gift and then giving it to the surprised recipient. Or in this case, recipients.

Last was the reading of the book Waiting For Christmas. It is all about a little boy and how he anticipates the coming Christmas Day. I say I read it, actually, I croaked out almost half of it before stopping. My voice is shot from the cold I have and the kids weren't listening very well. Oh, well. No matter what, Christmas is on the way! Whether my voice holds out for reading all the Christmas books I have gathered or not, Christmas will come! And we will countdown and anticipate the arrival of this most wonderful holiday.